The adults in the room were so busy talking about the intense family discussion (okay, it was really a yelling match between my two sisters) that we didn’t notice my 9-year-old nephew quietly making a plate of sweet potato pie, sugar cookies, pecan pie and cake. I watched him for a few minutes and then asked, “What are you doing, RJ?” He continued anxiously going from container to container of left over Thanksgiving sweets. Without stopping his task, he said, “I’m making a plate for Auntie Mia.”
“Baby, she just left,” was my confused reply. In fact, she’d just stormed out after a strained conversation between her (Mia) and my younger sister (Tasha - his mother). Nodding his head, he calmly replied, “I know. This is for when she comes back later on.” Knowing Mia, I doubted that it would be that same day. He didn’t seem to be bothered by that as he found oil to cover the plate and placed it on the kitchen table. I guess he instinctively knew compassion was the key to handling this difficult situation.
Like Ephesians 4:32 encourages us to be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, his actions showed that being compassionate might be the best way to deal with difficult situations and the people that put us in them. l love my nephew for a number of reasons but I’m amazed that he is always so full of compassion.
Which brings me back to my nephew and his plate of sweets. When my sister Mia called about 10 minutes after he’d wrapped her plate in foil, a huge grin spread across his face. The first thing he said to her when he got to the phone was, “I have something for you Auntie Mia. You need to come get it.” What Auntie can resist that kind of request? Within five minutes, she was back at the house and within 15 minutes, she and Tasha had made up.
During the holidays, it’s almost inevitable that one person, mistakenly or on purpose, will remind you of just how awful your situation (job loss, financial strain, weight loss/gain, relationship problems) is. I admit that it is hard for me not to reply with comments just as rude when people say something mean-spirited. You may love God but at that point, you ain’t thinking about turning the other cheek like Matthew 5:39 says! So what do you do? 1 Peter 4:11-12 reminds us that love covers a multitude of sins and that we should strive to show compassion to others. It’s not always easy, but showing compassion works because rather than focusing on changing the other person (the usual response), if you let it, it changes you.
Shewanda Riley is the author of the Essence best-seller "Love
Hangover: Moving From Pain to Purpose after a Relationship Ends." She can be reached at lovehangover@juno.com, at www.shewandariley.com or www.anointedauthorsontour.com
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