02-26-10
I am Just Not That Deep
I have not written in this space in more than four months and I now know why. I wanted to be deep, too deep. Translation; I was full of It. What is It? The ‘It’ is not the four letter word that begins with the 19th letter of the alphabet.
The ‘It’ that I am referring to is ‘Self’. The self righteousness of a Believer who has the audacity not to move forward with the rapid expansion of this Online Ministry that God has blessed me with. The self condemnation of the boy, man, husband and father who has yet to forgive himself for not taking out time to spend with my Dad during his last days. I think often, about Luther’s song only ‘If I could dance with my father again.’
The self deceit of a procrastinator that made room for self Doubt of the kingdom building vision that God has place within my spirit. I had to get outside of self, in order to discover myself. Until now, I truly did not believe I was worthy of all that my God has for me.
Sure, I said I wanted His anointing to fall upon me, but did I really want it? Now, I know that I do want the power of the Holy Spirit to reside in me and abide by that which is within.
With that revelation, I discovered that I was more of a private person, then I thought. As a columnist I did not want my readers to know exactly who I was. But, now I know that, in order, to be a pertinent writer on God’s website I needed to reveal more about myself.
Perhaps the title of my last column” God’s Promise Your Pressure’ cause me to recognize the value of that which has be given to me by my Heavenly Father.
Therefore, dear reader of Perspective, you can expect and receive my thoughts, visions, aspirations and musings more frequently and one day, I might say something that will help you move into the position God has for you. However, keep in mind; I am just not that deep.
Caesar
02/26/10
