Preserved by Purpose – Connecting the Disconnected
Does relationship equal purposeful connection? I think about this as I sat mesmerized watching too many hours of those infamous courtroom TV reality shows during my vacation. From Judge Greg Mathis, Judge Lynn Toler to Judge Glenda Hatchett, daytime TV offers a peculiarly intriguing display of human relationships at their head-scratching best. I’m not sure what it says about me that I consider watching these shows a guilty pleasure. I really shouldn’t watch them, but I just can’t resist sometimes. I even try to convince myself that it’s “research” for my writing.
These shows also make me reevaluate how easily we can be fooled into believing that we have a connection with others because there is a superficial external relationship. After seeing the negative aftereffects (paternity tests, lawsuits, name calling and outright cruelty) of all that “connection,” it seems like the external relationship sometimes masks an internal disconnection. They seem to be more about convenience than connection. Numerous couples discuss how they began living together after a few short weeks or days of meeting each other. One couple even proudly shared how they got married after just 1 month after knowing each other.
It seems like some are more concerned about the temporary satisfying convenience of sharing their lives with anybody than with preparing themselves for the something more meaningful: building a permanent bond with someone with whom they might have a purposeful connection. Where there is convenience, there is often disconnection especially from purpose.
The disconnection comes from a poor understanding, hardening of the heart as a result of past hurts and not dealing with those past hurts as well as lusting for more. This results in no connection or worse a connection that’s weak. Unfortunately, this is what we see so often on these shows and in our lives.
Connecting to others is made easier when we reconnect with God. Ephesians 4:23-24 talks about the renewing of the mind which creates a new self and allows us to be honest with others. “and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.” This renewal often means that we stop seeing ourselves as we’d wish we were but acknowledge who we are through the eyes of God.
Can you achieve your purpose with being connected to others? Some would say yes because after all you are doing the work. Others would say no because no one achieves success in a vacuum. What does purpose have to do with connection? When allowed, purpose forces acknowledgement of vulnerabilities. Oftentimes, authentic connection can heal the wounds that come from vulnerabilities. Once acknowledged, letting go of vulnerabilities can make you more open to authentic connection which will ultimately help you achieve your God-given purpose.
Shewanda Riley is the author of the Essence best-seller "Love Hangover: Moving From Pain to Purpose after a Relationship ends." She can be reached at lovehangover@juno.com, at www.shewandariley.com or www.anointedauthorsontour.com
